Friday, 13 March 2020

That I Am Grateful

Love creeps up to you in unexpected places.

To me it came in a campsite in Marbella, amongst the laughter and company of friends and little children. In the sea of people I knew and knew not, I have found a kindred spirit whose culture and life experiences differed from mine but who might as well have been cast from the same mold.

If I were less romantic, I would have called it by its proper name - positive assortative mating - but being of the literary kind, I would prefer a meeting of soulmates. But because many people find love like that, it doesn't make us more or less special.

Yet over a decade later it still fascinates me how in the many subjects of social and political importance, more often than not, my views are shared and validated by the same person whose perspective matters to me the most.

Are we together because we are like each other? 
Or are we like each other because we are together? 
How much of the other person have we become? 
Where do you end and me begins?

For sure, we are no longer the same people we were in our reckless 20's, where a whirlwind romance led to marriage and a sudden move abroad to face a future that we have not planned for. But they say that when you experience the uncertainties and disappointments we did in our youth and get through them unscathed an unresentful, we have grown well. And we have, like two trees that share the same roots, stretching outwards but firmly planted in the ground.

For despite our intertwined state, I am able to enjoy the company of people whose interests you wouldn't necessarily share (Korean dramas, girls night outs and weekly book clubs) or meet up with friends in exciting new places we haven't been to. But even then, when I encounter a line from a book that I would think most fascinating, I couldn't wait to tell you about it. When I find myself, in an ordinary day or on a trip with friends, confronted by an object of beauty or an experience that moves me, I would think of you, and wish that you were there too.

Of love and its many definitions, that must be one of them. The desire to share what is beautiful and inspiring with another person.

But being British, you would rather that it's definition is practical of course and expectedly so. A study has claimed that 'British couples in particular care about family, sharing household tasks equally and about definitions of proper behaviour'. In that way, we are no exceptions to the rule and in the many occasions that I would feel grateful that my efforts at maintaining the roots of our tree are equally (and sometimes more than) reciprocated, I am duly reminded that to expect less than what I deserve is a disservice to the parties involved.

Still I feel grateful.

That on a cold and rainy day, there is somebody who will share his warmth. 
That on a particularly difficult day, there is a voice that calms and reasons. 
Than on an ordinary day, there are memories that makes me smile, of seeing the same thing and at the same time with somebody who I would happily share it with over and over again. 

That over 10 years ago, in an unfamiliar place, I have met somebody with the face of a stranger but with a heart after my own.

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