Back to Reality

My days of mummy bliss are over, ten months of paid maternity leave whizzed past like a blur and it was time to face the fact that in this modern times, it is a luxury to stay at home to look after your own child. 

So last week, Isaac started to make the short journey to the bottom of our road, through a creaky iron gate and up the wooden stairs of Osborne House, a popular play ground for babies of working families in Hillsborough. When I gently lowered him on the floor, there were no screams of protests nor struggles to let go of my arms. He rushed off to grab a toy that has caught his eye so there wasn't even a goodbye kiss before I went on to catch the ten past eight tram to get to work by 8:30am. 

I spent my first day back desk-hopping and catching up with colleagues, boring everyone with my tales of motherhood. Someone commented that it must be weird being back after months of holiday. Holiday it certainly wasn't, I corrected, what with sleepless nights and long days chasing after a now mobile baby on top of keeping up with the housework! But another pointed out that I'm always posting photos of exciting trips and walks in the park, a perfect example of Facebook's reality distortion I admitted, as going out it the best way I know how to entertain a bored infant. 

While settling back at work, I hardly spared a thought about how my little man, who until recently had been very dependent on me, is coping in his strange new environment. I wasn't plagued with maternal guilt, that key emotion that is becoming a weird mark of being an acceptable mother, for leaving my son in the care of people who I barely know, whose names I am still learning to remember. 

But why should I be? Nursery is doing him a world of good, with plenty of interesting toys and activities to occupy him, in the company of other children with whom he will learn to share and socialise and in the care of well-qualified care workers who looks after them. When I pick him up at the end of each day, I am handed a report of how he has enjoyed his day. It is always fascinating to read how he is learning to forge a personality of his own, showing preference for particular toys and being caught smiling at his own reflection rather a lot!

This normality seems to be working for us. Like most British families, surviving in one salary is not an option, despite the cost of childcare eating up a quarter of our combined pay. But we are lucky enough that our jobs allow us to drop some hours so that each of us get to spend an extra day a week with our child and he only needs to be at nursery for three days a week. His dad, who has him on Thursdays, is relishing an extra day off to do his house chores and sort out the bills, tasks that normally take up most of his weekends. And on Fridays, which we have together, we still get to hang out with other mums and babies who we have become friends with over the past few months. 

It's early days of course, but my transition from being a career woman to a full-time mother to somewhere in between has not been too bad. There will definitely be challenging moments but I'm hopeful that we will be able to cope, and with as little anxiety as we can.

The Great Sheffield Duck Race

On Easter Monday after the dark looming clouds that started the day cleared off to welcome the cheerful sun, around 2,500 rubber ducks raced along the River Porter for the annual Great Sheffield Duck Race at Endcliffe Park. This charity event is organised by Friends of Porter Valley to raise money for the restoration of the Forge Dam and on its 6th year has attracted a record number of 4,000 spectators cheering on the floating ducks by the riverside while children paddled in the water in their shirts and slippers, helping racers who were lagging behind. 

We arrived late, the event started at 2pm and it was already halfway through when we arrived but we still had plenty of fun following the course of the race towards the rocky end where the eventful winner was joyfully proclaimed. When the crowd turned towards the stalls surrounding the fields, so did we, passing by a long queue forming at the sole ice cream van strategically positioned in front of the playgrounds. 

Everything was packed, including the grounds but we were still lucky to find a space to gobble our sandwiches and watch other families who are sat around their barbecues cheering on little Olivers playing football, tiny Eleanors pushing their mini prams and lively terriers chasing after their treasured twigs. It was certainly the epitome of a British public gathering in the city's middle class heartland. But with a charitable cause and cultural preservation at the centre of this event, it was worth taking part in!

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The Rise of Pram Pushing Daddies

The latest male fashion trend to hit our local shops and the city's high street is a pram, it doesn't matter what make it is or how big, as long as there is a baby inside. I've only noticed this phenomenon after we had a child when my husband started navigating the busy shop-lined streets of Hillsborough, occasionally stopping to let another father pass through. And it's not just during the weekends either. 

Just as women have been able to empower themselves through education and employment, so have men been able to assert equality when it comes to bringing up the children. In most British households, this shared responsibility over the child begins at birth, when the father is no longer restricted to pacing up and down the waiting room but is present at delivery by the mother's side giving reassurance and cutting the newborn's umbilical cord. This transition to parenthood is also well-supported by employers and the government where a two-week paid paternity leave is on the plate. 

Nappy changing and mealtime feeding is also taken in turns but our bedtime routine is pretty much a father and son bonding hour incorporating a bath, a story book and a bottle-feed while I put my feet up for a well-deserved break in front of the television or in the kitchen baking a cupcake.

On a trip to the local museum while my mother was here she was rather surprised by the number of men pushing prams, carrying babies on their chest or chasing after toddlers while their mothers are assumed to be at work. Not as many as in Scandinavian countries I reassured her, but it is comforting to know that employment rules in this country is also allowing men to share childcare responsibilities. 

With the man's traditional role of being the family's main provider no longer being the norm, more fathers have started looking after their children full-time and an increasing number are doing so part-time. An Equal Opportunities Commission Survey on new fathers found that "almost 8 out of 10 working fathers revealed that they would be happy to stay at home and look after their baby, while almost 9 out of 10 men felt as confident as their partner when caring for their child. In general, 7 out of 10 dads wanted to be more involved with caring for their child."

When I return to work after my maternity leave finishes, John will be one of those pram pushing daddies doing weekly shopping at the local shops, on Thursdays at least. 

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Out on a Walk

It's April in Hillsborough and the park has come alive. At the back of the library, there were no more signs of the crocuses that once carpeted the grounds only to be replaced by white and yellow daffodils making their annual dance. The trees were no longer bare, leaves with a vibrant shade of green have started to come out and the lovely cherry blossoms are flowering. Elsewhere amongst the carefully maintained flower patches, the brightly coloured tulips were ready to capture our hearts. 

Every year, spring seems to take longer to arrive but it always makes the long wait worth it. Especially when the sun is out and the temperature reaches double figures (14 degrees Celsius is decent!). Yesterday was one such day and on our afternoon walk, we took some photos, listened to the birds singing and smelled the flowers!

Kino Bambino: Of Screaming Babies and Cosmopolitan Mummies

Since I came to live in Britain, I could only count the number of times I have been to the cinema and it was mostly with friends. Paying for TV licence and having a BBC iPlayer on our telly meant we have a good selection of TV films, documentaries and drama series that we even struggle to find time to watch. On the rare occasion that John would take me out on a movie date, we would head off to Sheffield's 'arty' cinema, the Showroom, located in cultural heart of the city, opposite the train station. 

When our little boy was a few weeks old, we watched a British-Filipino film, Metro Manila, with my mother there. He slept through most of the film and only had to be taken out once when he woke up for a feed, so we managed to enjoy the movie without disturbing the rest of the audience. But at seven months, I would be lucky to get him to sleep during the day for an hour thus taking him to the cinema would be rather rude. So finding out that the Showroom has a special screening for parents with babies under one year old was rather useful. Called Kino Bambino, the latest films are screened with lower sound levels and the room is brighter than normal. 

A friend from a baby group has told me about it, she regularly goes on Monday mornings. This week, when a movie I wanted to watch was being shown, we went out to see it. 

We were amongst the first to take our seats and for awhile there were only less than ten of us inside but by the time the lights dimmed, nearly fifty parents have turned up with either a sleeping or screaming baby. Before I became a mother, any whimper from a child in a public place would have got on my nerves, but after months of living with a seldom quiet child, one certainly learns how to block off the noises. And so despite a congregation of whining infants, I have truly enjoyed watching the film. 

But not only that, I have also met other mothers who have become weekly faces at the cinema and realised how cosmopolitan Sheffield truly is. In our table, I've had interesting conversations with a mother whose husband is from Argentina and a mummy who is a native of Spain, and it wasn't just about our babies! 

Although I'm certainly not going to be a weekly cinema-goer, I'm still looking forward to the next time we would be watching a film. 

Image from web. 

Spring has Sprung!

As soon as the thick white fog that was hovering over the hills cleared up, we went out for our mid-morning walk today. During the weekend, the temperatures have started to reach double digits and the forecast for the rest of the week is looking bright. Spring has finally arrived! 

And there is no better proof of this than the host of golden daffodils starting to turn up all over the park, fluttering beneath the trees, to bring a smile to passers-by. We had to take photos of course but the little one wasn't very impressed when he heard the usual 'Smile' to the camera while he was busy looking around. 

Happy World Book Day!

It's never too early to foster love of books on little children. My mother said she started reading to me when I was still in her tummy and it definitely was one of the best gifts she has given me. 

When he was four months old, Isaac received his own library card at Hillsborough Children's Library along with a free Bookstart pack which contains two board books for us to enjoy.  Since then, our weekly trip to the library to borrow new books is something we both look forward to. It's always delightful to spend our afternoon playtime in the company of books with the colourful photos to look at and nursery rhymes to sing and act out. And at nighttime, his daddy also gets to read him his favourite book before putting him to bed. 

We're hoping that this early love for flipping pages would help enrich his imagination and make him want to explore more. 

Spring Walk and Baby Photos

Every morning we go out for a walk, rain or shine. There is no excuse not to, the park is just at the bottom of our road and it's a perfect exercise to start the day. 

It is for this reason that we were able to witness the magical transition of the seasons, when carpets of crocuses slowly create a spectacular show of white and purple, and occasionally some eye-popping orange yellow flowers too. They crop up almost overnight looking like tiny champagne flutes in March, to announce that daffodils and warmer days are soon to follow. 

One Monday morning, when the sun was out, we went out to take photos of these delightful bulbs. And yes, some baby photos too!