The Vexation of Others: A Curious Thought

“It is hard, she thought, it is hard for us to think of people who dislike us because none of us, in our hearts, believes that we deserve the hatred of others.”

~ AMS, The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party

 

It is rather embarrassing to admit that I scour the homepage of Facebook on a daily basis when I could be doing something else more productive. But we humans are naturally nosey and what better way to know about the business of others than by going online. After all, if they did not mean for us to pry, why publicly share it?

You can find some rather interesting goings on in Facebook and equally the most mundane. To be able to share in others’ happiness is a blessing; to be subjected to another’s excessive self-absorption is an unlucky downside albeit one that should be taken with gracious tolerance, if one is able.

Recently though, a number of incidents have proven that the bubble that is tolerance might be bursting. Among such was a series of malicious and deliberately wispy shout-outs thrown to no one in particular and yet to anyone who could be paranoid enough to be upset about it.

The business of disliking others is rather baffling if not tiresome. To disagree with someone whose views are not aligned with one’s own is a noble thing; it shows passion rather than apathy. We are after all gifted with free will to make up our own minds. But to dislike someone for expressing their thoughts which happened to be different from one’s own is somewhat ungracious. It should be avoided if we are to live in a truly civilised world.

But it is a natural human emotion after all. Who amongst us have not had such guilty pleasure of harbouring an instinctive feeling of aversion towards someone? What you do about it defines your level of maturity. When you are young and the world seemingly revolves around you, it is easy to mistake unkindness as a source of kick. But as you grow older, you learn the art of cheerful acceptance over the vexing quirks of others.

To use the social media as a medium of voicing disdain then is a lowly act of cowardice. For wouldn’t it be easier to confront the subject concerned than blindly attack it? If it was just a spur of a moment reaction, then surely there was no need for the rest of the world to be involved. But if someone else agreed with the spite, does it mean the reaction was founded after all? Would it make the person who've instigated it feel better about himself/herself? It is a rather curious thought.

Then again, if posting a hateful remark in Facebook a mere vexing quirk of another and a simple act of self-expression, would the criticism of such act be unmerited? Would the whole subject of this writing be a mere contradiction of itself? Again, a curious thought.

If someone happens to be paranoid enough to believe that they are the subject of such insult but with no other proof than Google statistics (which could prove unreliable), how would they be able to confront the issue? Surely one can’t just go to the person involved for it would be easy to deny the offense and be accused of something else. It is rather difficult. But perhaps one need not do anything about it. If their happiness causes vexation to another, maybe that same happiness could eventually rub off.